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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875275">Notes | jikook</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniblues/pseuds/miniblues'>miniblues</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Books - Fandom, Bookworm - Fandom, PancakeNation - Fandom, bts, bxb - Fandom, jikook - Fandom, kookmin - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Books, Boy's Love, Light AU, PancakeNation, bookworms, bts - Freeform, bxb - Freeform, jikook - Freeform, kookmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:20:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniblues/pseuds/miniblues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a bored student; Jimin finds a note on the secondhand book he bought.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hello.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>//Third Person's Point of View//</strong>
</p><p>The sudden blew of the chilling autumn wind perhaps brought many folks in to the warmth of their own houses to put up their fireplace and have a sip of tea. Jungkook walked the deserted suburban street of London, tightening the scarf wrapped up his neck,his phone beeped, his hands shivering as he freed them from the depths of his pockets.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>From Namjoon-Hyung;</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I bloody swear Jungkook! If youre up to trouble again, im going to tell Mom about this.</em>
</p><p>Being the good kid he was, he put his phone back and continued his way. Taking his time because he just had the best croissant in the alley near the university. Plus,annoying Namjoon would probably be a great idea.</p><p>He strides down the dimly lit path, the street lamps flickering as he passes by.<br/>The seemingly familiar bookshop greeted him at the corner of the street, stacks of books are placed neatly as he peaked through the glass wall. He grabbed the rusty metal handle, aged as many hands who are probably dying to get a copy of books their interest pulled.</p><p>The alluring smell of pages and dust excites him, as always. He saw a head peaked in, as the smiling Victoria greeted. She was all too acquainted with the dark haired boy, her father's favorite costumer. He comes back here often, donating books to declutter his library. Victoria just smiled sweetly, as the shy little young boy at downtown grew so lovely.</p><p>Jungkook turns to see an old man in front of him, with his gold rimmed spectacles, with an earl grey tea on his hand.</p><p>"Ah. The now muscled bunny thought of visiting me, what a surprise."</p><p>Jungkook giggled,"Shut up Henry."</p><p>He grew fond of the old man, even with his hair turning white, he's the same man who made the then thirteen year old Jungkook, feel at home in this country, strange to the little boy's eyes.</p><p>"Are you donating your books again?" The man asked, offering the boy tea, who slightly shook his head, still full from the croissant earlier.</p><p>"Unfortunately, no. But let me ask, where do you put the donations? Do you perhaps, sell them again?"</p><p>The old man turned to his daughter who are fixing the stacks of books at the 'Historical Fiction' genre. "Victoria here, and her husband, Gabriel,handles the donations. We often sell them from second-hand bookshops from all around the world."</p><p>Jungkook picked up a book, " how lovely."</p><p>An hour have passed and the raven haired boy needed to say goodbye to Henry, Namjoon just texted him non-stop informing him about dinner.</p><p>He soon reached the front porch of the Kim's home, knocking softly at the wooden door. Rustles of footsteps are heard before the ever so beautiful Kim Somi opened the door in her usual pink apron and messy bun. You really cant tell that she's forty five years old at first look. She pinches Jungkook's cheeks. "Aish, why are you always late, come! I cooked tteokbokki and gimbap."</p><p>Jungkook went in, walking straight to the dining table, there sat the bored looking Namjoon, who gave him a glare as soon as he walked in, he was mouthing something like 'What trouble have you been up to again?' but he just ignored it, as usual.</p><p>The dinner with the Kim's was peaceful. They've constantly asked him about his studies and his life at the university. He's grateful that he met them. Ever since his Eomma gave him to their care, he lost contact with his own mother. The pain keeps living with him, but not that much now.</p><p>If you would ask him if he would go back to South Korea, the answer would probably be no. Ever since his so called mother sent him off to live with strangers at a different country, i guess, thats reasonable. This is his home now. The only thing that reminded him of his roots is his surname, and he never bother to change it.</p><p>After dinner, he went to the comfort of his own room and splashed on his bed. He tried writing down notes in hopes that lyrics just come in, but no, nothing. He wonders how Namjoon does it though.</p><p>So he did the '<em>im bored but i aint sleeping' routine.</em> He puts on Netflix, listen to some music, reviews his notes, and scrolls to every social media account he has.</p><p>Not until that popping sound interrupted him.</p><p><em>New email from</em> <strong>prkjmn13@gmail.com!</strong></p><p>The raven haired furrowed his eyebrows, the name was new, this person must be messing around but he clicks it anyways.</p><p>
  <strong>Hello!</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. one.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The modern, troubled life of Jimin, chasing the bleeding sunsets at South Korea</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   <strong> //Third Person's Point of View//</strong></p>
<p>The shivering temperature swept off the crowded streets and sidewalks, the students rushing home to keep warm and grab their coats off racks. It was strange as the temperature dropped down from the sunny atmosphere yesterday.</p>
<p>Jimin stirred his ramyeon as he blew it gently, the steam stopping his hands from shaking. He rubs them off, mentally scolding himself for forgetting his coat. He sipped the warmth out of the soup, the spiciness flowing in his throat. The store's staff turned the air conditioner down, giving him a wink before he left. Jimin chuckled, <em>still not losing your charms Park Jimin. </em></p>
<p>He fished the phone out of his pockets, scrolling down to see the reacts of the selca he posted a while ago. The blonde giggled, filter really do him wonders, it hid the redness of his face from the cold. The school's group chat popped in, as he viewed the link it sent. It was a reminder of the up coming college entrance examination, just the thought makes his head ache, he closes it off but another popping sound interrupted him.</p>
<p><em>From</em> Mr Choi;<em> Mr Park Jimin. Im saying this through text because you didnt show up when i called you earlier. Im going to be honest with you, you cannot enter college with these grades. And im going to be very kind to you and give  a special project. If you want to pass, please do this. </em></p>
<p>
  <em>[Attachment]</em>
</p>
<p>Jimin rolls his eyes as he closed the chat box. Pressure building up, and slowly eating him in. College is still a blur for someone like him, adulthood is something he cannot welcome with open arms. Just the thought of failing the examination can ruin his day.</p>
<p>He rested his head at the table, pushing up empty coffee cups and meals from recent costumers. He looks at the half eaten cup of ramyeon, seeing it gone cold from him staring, he finished everything up, grabbing a few tissue paper to wipe his mouth. The anxiety runs over, knocking on his thoughts again. Then again, escape is all he can do.</p>
<p>We cant always know what we want, what road, we're heading to. And all we can do is find other roads, with no direction, but atleast a way.</p>
<p>  Grabbing his bag, he made his way out, stopping by to give a small smile at the guy at the counter. The cold breeze hit him hard, wearing tight jeans and a sweater isn’t recommendable for this type of weather, although fashion is a must. He raised his face mask, as he climbed inside the empty bus. The scanner slightly beeped as he tapped his card, flopping in the dusty gray cushions, sipping in some americano he grabbed on his way.  He leaned at the frost covered window,watching everything disappear right before him.</p>
<p>The sun casts a radiant glow at the horizon, accentuating the city lights of modern Seoul. Passing down highways after highways, The mellow light from billboards and street lamps makes the blonde sleepy. The fast moving of cars feels like a blur, watching the sun melt down out of sight. This city seems like a locked up shell, no windows of what its like outside.</p>
<p>The bus stopped into a halt, he climbed out, and walked the yellow lit streets. He forgot to call back his hyung, knowing the older was waiting for him. The blonde  heaved a deep sigh, walking further into deep uncertainty, the sky painted into a rich deep black. The neighboring homes are all quiet, must be the chilly wind making them fall asleep so early.</p>
<p>Home sweet home, he took out the hidden key at the rug, the sweet smell of bulgogi welcoming him. Fluff greeted him, the kitten rubbing its head to his legs.  Slipping on some comfy slippers, the sound of some teledrama heard at the living room. He walked past it,not giving a glance to the woman folding some clothes at his back. He fight the urge to give respects, and continued his way.</p>
<p>"Jimin."</p>
<p>That voice used to be sweet and motherly. That voice used to be the salvation to his own monsters, that voice used to stop the rain. But now, it was nothing. It was bitter, and the love that was laced to it is something obscure and fake.</p>
<p>He turned around, looking directly at his mother. The silence was eating the both of them up. Jiwoo stood out of her seat, filling the steps near his son. Jimin remained frozen at the stairway, his hands tightening its grip to the rail.</p>
<p>"You brat! You spent 100,000 won on my credit card in just a week! If you don’t stop spending I’ll..."</p>
<p>Jimin grinned, he knew his mother cant finish what she said. She was too weak for it. The blonde rolled his eyes, glancing at the woman. "Or you'll kick me out like what you did to Seokjin-hyung? For all I care Eomma."</p>
<p>Jimin kicked the empty chanel bags standing at his rooms doorway, he left his Mom mouth-hanging downstairs. He should feel half bad, but a lot of reasons bottled in killed his guilt. Sinking down to the thick cushions of his bed,he rolled off, turning his phone on to see a thousand reacts on his selca.</p>
<p>Another chat popped up, as he clicked the message box. Seeing Yugyeom’s name made him jump in wonder. Wondering if this was the announcement he’d been waiting for.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yugyeom; You didn’t pass the qualifications for modeling. Thats alright chim, try again next time ig.</em>
</p>
<p>Face falling, He sunk on his bed, knots of devastation kicking in. He do feel like crying, feel like throwing things around,but would things be fine after crying everything out? Everything he did just to get accepted was flushed down, he looked around and decided to head out, grabbing his coat again and going down.</p>
<p>He passed by his Mom staring at nothing, guilt blossoming in his being. He continued his way, running around barely lit streets and finally settling along a cold pavement.</p>
<p>Fiddling with his fingers he watched some lone cars passing by, probably glancing on the boy through tinted glass,  wondering what is he doing on the cold out on his own.</p>
<p>He opened the attachment Mr. Choi sent, gathering up all determination to pass and graduate. His hyung would be so proud of him for doing so.</p>
<p>
  <em> Mr. Choi; Make a reaction paper about the book ‘The boy who chased the Sunrise by Do-hyeon lee’</em>
</p>
<p>Warm breaths become more visible at the freezing temperature, as white crystals start to drop, he smiled; the first snow of the month.</p>
<p>As the negative two degree weather starts to kick in, his heart feels <em>warm</em>. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>--<br/>Zi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. two.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jungkook's blackholes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b>Third Person's Point of View</b>
  </p>
</div><p><br/>The chilly monday morning took a toll to everyone, the morning train leaving five minutes late because of issues. Mondays are always disastrous, as people out on pubs crawls through their homes with blurry sights.</p>
<p>Jungkook strides the grassy path, the camera hanging from his neck. The university's field was pretty much packed, the banners littered each corners of the campus. Jungkook walked around, trying to focus the wide view shot to the school's front, carefully adjusting it to gain his desired clarity.</p>
<p>A brunette approached him, tapping the boy from his shoulder. The raven haired flinched, stepping back to a one metre distance. The woman giggled, noticing the weird reaction from the other.</p>
<p>"You're Jungkook right?" She smiled widely, her freckles highlighted her bubbly personality, "I'm Lucy, from the culinary department. Nice to meet you."</p>
<p>Jungkook hesitated at first, but he would come off as rude so he shook the lady's hand. "Nice to meet you too..?"</p>
<p>The woman smiles even more, filling in the gap between them, but the raven haired stepped back once again. <br/>"You are really interesting like your brother," She let out a small laugh, " Say, do you want to join me for tea?"</p>
<p>Jungkook shook his head, joining this woman for tea was the last thing in his mind today. "I'm sorry Miss but i got things to do. If you'll excuse me...</p>
<p>The raven haired went on his way, not even glancing the woman who stood frozen at the same place. </p>
<p>He passed through the decorated halls, dressed in vibrant aquamarine colours, as he tried to push off the crowds. Some even looks at him weirdly, he shrugs them off ignoring the strange glances. A tall blonde guy pulls him by his shoulder, the sudden movement making him flinch. Jungkook groans in annoyance, as the guy in front of him throws a deep chuckle.</p>
<p>"What is it this time Clarence?" Jungkook huffed, as the guy ignored his glares.</p>
<p>"Kook," Clarence started with a grin, his sky blue eyes blinking "are you gonna join us for a drink at the Usual this afternoon?"</p>
<p>Jungkook rolled his eyes off in annoyance and tapped the blonde's shoulder "I think you know the answer to that already."</p>
<p>Shoulders down, the blonde male tried to convince the other off, but to no avail. Everyone  "Kook, atleast have some social life. Thats what's the uni is all about."</p>
<p>The raven haired chuckled, " Nice try, but no."</p>
<p>He left the blonde mouth agape at the path, for the second time. Clarence blinked, processing his thoughts as the raven haired disappeared from his sight. He stood in all stillness, shaking his head.</p>
<p>"Why are introverts so stubborn."</p>
<p>--<br/>The fading light coming from the windows peeked through the thick curtains of the room. He wriggles through the blankets, trying to sleep. Cups of chamomile littered his nightstand, but the growing headache just made the situation worst. He sat on his bed, grabbing the specs from the table. It was 2:54 AM, and he needs to wake up at 5 for a jog. Guess he will be getting a 2 hour sleep.</p>
<p>The coldness of the marbled floors enveloped his bare feet as he tiptoed through the pitch black surroundings, holding on the walls for balance as his head pounded, making him a bit nauseous. He passed through the living room, the TV lightly buzzing as some late night documentary flashed. He turned it off, catching glance to the passed out snoring man on the table; Namjoon's Father. It seemed like the man just arrived, as it holds an empty beer can on his right hand. He shook his head, Another fight will rage tomorrow.</p>
<p>His headache grew worse, as he walks around trying to find a medicine. A shade of dark lurks in his vision as he tries to hold into something. He tries to keep conscious, not wanting to wake everyone up. A liquid flows out of his nose, as he stumbles across the wooden floor.</p>
<p>"Kook!" Namjoon's voice shouted helping him out as blood gushes out of his nose. He rejects the guy's hand as he stood on his own, getting a chunk out of the tissue paper. A hint of worry showed in Namjoon's eyes, as he closes his eyes, trying to get the blood all out.</p>
<p>"Kook..." The guy started, he tried to walk out and escape the dread, but Namjoon followed " You're so pale. This nosebleeds keep happening. I think you need to go to the doctor. It could be that again..."</p>
<p>The raven haired turned to the older, tapping his shoulder with an assuring smile " I'm fine hyung. No need to worry. This nosebleeds happen when i get a terrible head-ache."</p>
<p>He nods at Namjoon, flashing off the bunny grin to calm the older down. The older male sighed, ruffling his hair.</p>
<p>"Why are you still awake hyung? Talking to a girlfriend?"</p>
<p>Namjoon chuckled, looking down to the pile of papers he's finishing. "I dont do that silly."</p>
<p>The younger looked shook, Namjoon is friendly with everyone. He was one of the guys at school that a lot of people wants to date.</p>
<p>"How about you Kook? Girlfriends?"<br/>The younger threw him a death glare and starts to walk away, leaving a laughing Namjoon behind.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>The blankets feel warm over him as he looked at the darkened ceiling in despair. Tightened knots wrapped around the pit of his stomach, like black holes swirling around. It feels like dead stars, aching, sucking him on the inside. He turned to his side again, trying to break free from his own thoughts.</p>
<p>Its <em>always</em> like <em>this</em>.</p>
<p>Yellows are turning black. The vague image of a warm body hugging him from behind, sweet and motherly was felt. And he realized, no matter how many roads he walk into, the same familiar Bus stop is there. Where he thought he's worthy, where he thought he's loved.</p>
<p>But some places are worth leaving.</p>
<p>He doesnt want to spend midmorning thoughts like these anymore. Its the same feeling. The same questions. The same rain pouring down.</p>
<p>Will he ever get out of this? Can love cure everything? or is he stuck in this cycle forever?</p>
<p>He was born a survivor, used to live near the train tracks with the speeding train waking him up back then. He was raised in a troubled environment, eyes made to look at his parents nearly killing each other. He was an outlet of their hatred as a child.</p>
<p>London changed everything, he was grateful that he was here. Everything was new, like a fresh start. The language, the culture, the place.  But he was back to one not zero. Being here is salvation, but it wasnt an easy ride either.   He started to get sickly, and thats when they found out he got a deadly disease.</p>
<p>Some said when you already got on a close encounter with death, you aren't gonna be afraid of anything anymore But leaving people behind, is more scary than dying. By the hospital window he ponders, this is everything he asked for. He was born a survivor, so he stayed.</p>
<p>
  <em>But Mom, am i not worth staying?</em>
</p>
<p>His clock rang 5' o clock as he stood away from his bed with no sleep. with a blurry vision and pounding head, Jeon Jungkook's cycle starts again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm gonna apologise that this chapter aint that good lol. And you can see that the story's progress is a bit slow but i just want y'all to you know 'get to know them better' </p>
<p>No romance HAHA. I like things slow you see (but not too slow tho)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. three.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In beneath dusty pages</p>
<p>My fate awaits...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b>//Third Person's point of view//</b>
  </p>
</div><p><br/>The heavy snowfall makes it difficult to get out of the warm cushions, the winter breeze greeting at an early Sunday morning. The subway piled up easily, traffic jams starting to act up.</p>
<p>The glass doors creaked as Jimin pulled in, the warmth of the room enveloping into him. Seokjin followed, sipping on some hot americano they grabbed along the way. They tried to look around, fingers running through the shelves. The books are arranged by genre, as Jimin walks around with a bored yawn.The bookshop was pretty much empty, the staff was setting up and wiping down the glass cabinets.</p>
<p>Jin plays around with the search machine, trying to type the name of the book, but the results kept going to zero. A petite brown-headed woman approached the two in confusion, she tapped Seokjin that made the older almost jump out of his body. Jimin giggled, seeing the reaction from his hyung. He was really a scare-dy alpaca.</p>
<p>"Good morning Sir! What are you looking for?" She greeted with much enthusiasm. Jin rolled his eyes, His brother seemed to hate the presence of the young woman, the younger nudging him from behind.  Jimin grabbed his phone and showed it the lady, " I was wondering if... You have this?"</p>
<p>The woman shook his head lightly, "I'm sorry but we dont have that here. That book is quite..old."</p>
<p>Jimin sighed, this is the fourth time they got the same answer. Mr. Choi really do want him to suffer. He looked at Jin, the tiredness showing from the older's eyes. The blonde felt pity, his brother just got off shift, and he will be spending his day off on a book hunt. They turned around,tiredness evident from their faces. Jimin just wants to go home and flop on his bed, or do something rather than being out here in the cold.  but the woman suddenly rushed to their side, Seokjin almost jumping again.</p>
<p>"I know this bookshop, it was quite hidden in an alley in between two buildings, Its still here in Seoul though."</p>
<p>A spark of hope laced to the two, after almost two hours of searching. Jimin cant help but clap his hands in excitement, his brother can finally get some goodnight sleep.</p>
<p>"If you want... I can take you guys there" the lady winked at Seokjin," since this one is good-looking." She blushed,giving the older a flirty smile. Seokjin looked at the woman in disgust, looking like he's in the verge of puking. Jimin let out a small laugh, looking back at his hyung who's giving the woman a death glare.</p>
<p>Jin stood still, " First of all I have this thing called internet to guide me up," the woman's smile vanished, embarrassment replacing" and i like boys so no thank you." The older tapped the blondes shoulder, as they went out of the bookshop.</p>
<p>"The audacity." Jin kept babbling, the blonde giggled, as he adjusted the car's temperature. They turned the radio a bit louder, screaming their lungs out to a different version of the song, as they passed through a couple of buildings. Even when out of tune, the two kept going. Jimin wonders if the car is sound-proof, or people are looking at them through tinted glass.</p>
<p>"God,this is my favorite." The older <br/>Jin reached out to something in the backseat, coming back with a huge brown paper bag, the smell of grilled meat and cheese filling up the air. The mouth watering smell coming from the bag made his stomach grumble, as he tried to fight off the hunger that lurks his belly. He forgot to eat breakfast because Jin honked his car's horns non-stop.</p>
<p>" I got you your favorite! Double cheese burger! Eat up bish."</p>
<p>"Ill eat this later hyung okay?" The blonde grinned widely, trying to convince the confused older. Jin raised an eyebrow, checking the younger out. The blonde averted his gaze, wishing his brother will not bring out the topic about his refusal to eat.</p>
<p>"You look down Jiminie. Are you alright? " The older asked his voice laced with pure worry. The blonde used to love food so much he would trade it for everything in the world. Thats why Seokjin is pursuing culinary arts. Seokjin remembers how his brother's eyes will lit up whenever he comes home with a cheeseburger on hand.</p>
<p>Jimin swallows the bile on his throat, biting his lips to stop the tears wanting to come out. He really cant eat anything when he's sad. It feels like the world hates him that much. Or maybe it does. but he keeps hoping, or maybe it was the  call of the young Jimin. Sadly, he was long gone.</p>
<p>"I'm fine hyung. Dont worry." He smiled at the older sweetly, trying to remove the suspicions from the other's mind. " Now, lets get going so you Sir, can take your rest."</p>
<p>The fancy neighborhood of Seoul greeted them, the towering buildings seems like its kissing the clouds. They went around, checking different alleyways and asking strangers about the bookshop. Most responses are shaking their heads, some are not even listening to the guys. Some of the stores there are new, they can even see balloons and welcome ribbons littering around.</p>
<p>Jimin leaned in the wall, hopeless, rubbing his palms together. It was a bad idea to dive into the cold, he's suddenly regretting failing all those classes of Mr. Choi. His eyes went around to the deserted sidewalks, staying at the gutter across the street, boxes scattered outside. Its like a store closing, he squints his eyes, looking at the old woman carrying the boxes on her own. Passer-byes ignored her, not even throwing a glance to the woman who carries boxes almost twice her size. Jimin hesitated at first, before crossing the road, earning a confused look from SeokJin. He knows his brother is trailing him from behind.</p>
<p>"Let me help you Ahjumma." Jimin grabs the boxes and moves them out, the old woman smiling at him with relief. The blonde felt warm, remembering his grandma from the province. His brother helped in moving the boxes too, so the work was a little faster.</p>
<p>"Aish, why are you moving this on your own, Ahjumma?" Seokjin faltered, coughing from the 3 inch dust from the boxes.</p>
<p>The old woman sighed "We need to leave by today, our place was bought by the owner of that building." She looks down, not really wanting to talk about it. But there's still positivity in her tone as she smiled at Jimin. "What are you doing out in the cold this morning child?"</p>
<p>"I'm looking for a book," The older woman's eyes lit up, looking rather interested "But i think we're gonna go home after this Ahjumma."</p>
<p>"Maybe i can help you with that then." The woman said, eyes sparkling. <br/>Jimin tilts his head in confusion, but his desperation is stronger. He nods his head and followed the woman inside the old shop.</p>
<p>The blonde was awe-struck as he stepped inside the dusty shop, slightly coughing, he really hates being in these kind of bookshops. His mother used to bring him to pick up some books every Sunday but he prefers toy stores better. He pushes past a few cobwebs, picking a few books up, some of them got broken spines because of age.</p>
<p>"Are you shutting this down?" Jimin asked, looking at legal papers signed up at the corner. This is such a waste, its hard to find bookstores like this nowadays.</p>
<p>The lady looked down sadly, "well, we cant really pay the bills, and people doesnt buy here anymore. The building offered to buy this place and we have no choice..."</p>
<p>Jimin nodded, it must've been tough for the woman to let go of this shop, he can see that it means so much to her.</p>
<p>"Well about the book you're finding, its quite old. We need to hurry up!" <br/>And they get to work, moving one book after another, Jimin kept coughing because of the thick dust piled up. They dig along shelves after shelves, even finding some hidden books, that are probably left by the visitors. Yeah, every bookstore trick.</p>
<p>The time is ticking, and they digged along almost all the bookshelves. Again, Jimin was losing hope. He was thinking of asking Mr Choi or just try to find some abroad which would probably cost him a lot of money. He walked through the narrow gaps between shelves, turning around just to hit on one. The blonde groaned in pain until a book in a leather cover fell on his foot causing more pain. He picked it, was about to give it back but his eyes widen when he saw the title.</p>
<p>"Ahjumma! I saw it! I found the book!" He ran to the lady, smiling at his excitement. Jin let out a sigh of relief too. Jimin got his wallet from his pockets, pulling out money when the old woman stopped him.</p>
<p>"Keep that Son." She said giving it back but Jimin insisted. He wants to thank her for saving his graduation. But the money kept going back and forth. Jimin tucked it on the lady's jacket as he ran off dragging Jin behind him.</p>
<p>"GOODBYE AHJUMMA! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"</p>
<p>The lady was left dumbfounded, as she shook her head, "God, he's such a child."</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Silent phone beeps and the shuffled playlist was all that he could hear as he went past comments after comments on a new selca posted. Some are good but of course he is focused on the bad. He wasn't the type of person that is not giving a damn about others. Its not good but thats just who he is. He likes viewing his self in others eyes because either way, even if we wont admit, the society controls us.</p>
<p>
  <em>You can say he's a little to caring.</em>
</p>
<p>This also affected his past relationships, going around and finding assurance in the words of other people. Well, he likes compliments you can say.  there's something about someone's way of words that makes his heart flutter.</p>
<p>The blonde stared at the blank comments for a minute before plugging his earphones out and stopping the playlist. He laid down on the comfort of his bed, looking at the pouring beauty right beside his windows. He then glanced at the book placed on his desk, before getting the chance to start on to it. Maybe this will help him more to write the reaction paper, he did tried to find some online but there's only a few and they are very unreliable.</p>
<p>He carefully flipped the cover, as he saw a beautiful cursive handwriting below the book. Maybe this is the past owner.</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Jeon</em>
    <em> Jungkook</em>
    <br/>
    <em>London, United Kingdom</em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>If i happen to lose this book and you luckily find it, please contact me at: </em>
    <em>jjk1</em>
    <em>@gmail.com</em>
  </p>
</div><p><br/>Jimin remained confused as he blinked profusely. The name is korean so he might be a korean living in london. He can see that from the way he stated his email address, this book <br/>is very special to him.</p>
<p>He flipped through tanning pages until a note fell out of chapter one, it was a sticky note but maybe because its pressed for how many years, it gave up on sticking. He picked the paper up, seeing troubled writing on it, different from the beautiful cursive font at the beginning.</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p><em>Drops of rain on my window pane</em>,<br/><em>Unknown warmth buried deep. </em><br/><em>The monsters are here; they are keeping me sane,</em><br/><em>Tell me world, will you let me sleep? </em></p>
</div><p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>He carefully put the book down, looking back at it again. Something in him got disturbed, he doesnt really read poems, especially sad ones. He was very adaptive at the mood of something, something curious or sympathetic. The question runs on his mind and he knows its gonna be there for some time.</p>
</div><p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <br/>
    <em>Jeon</em>
    <em> Jungkook, Who are you? </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. four.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>To be adored. To just be adored.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I forgot to remind that this story will be a bit epistolary (chats, emails, etc) you can expect chat scenarios from here on forward (actually on chapter 6 but im just warning LMAO) :"D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Maybe it was the warm kiss of the early morning sun or the strong coffee he grabbed on the way to school that made Jimin eager to solve his new-found mystery. He found himself sitting at the last vacant seat at the cafeteria, indulged in beneath yellowish pages and words.</p>
<p>He could really rate the book as a masterpiece, but he doesnt have anything to compare it to. The only thing he ever read for more than five minutes are those little fashion magazines or comic books. He was never really interested at it.</p>
<p>But now, it feels like he lives through the pages and maybe its bad to assume, but he feels that he's also there, walking along the streets of london. What would it be like to start life in another environment different from Korea he wonders.</p>
<p>He is strangely indulged at the book, or maybe the person. But Jungkook's personality is really something, he finds himself trailing along his highlights, that Jimin cant help but imagine where this guy is now. There's something about his poems that makes him feel a sense of <em>sympathy.</em></p>
<p>Just when he flipped at the next page, a yellow note fell out of sticking, he immediately looked into it.</p>
<p>
  <em>Another poem.</em>
</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I wish you were the sunshine,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>The afterglow upon the dark</em>
    <br/>
    <em>The yellow paint on my black shirt</em>
    <br/>
    <em>I wish you arent imaginary. </em>
  </p>
</div><p><br/>The blonde sighed out of frustration and worry. He gulped the soda on his left hand and proceeds on reading again, the book made him oblivious of the whispers and stares thrown in his direction,but of course it made him distracted. They can clearly affect him.</p>
<p>Some people walked by, curiousness evading as to why the boy is reading a book. It was very unlikely. The gossips starts again, making him lose his focus. It feels like the school is not a place to learn but a place to slap you that pulling someone down is the only way up.</p>
<p>"Park is reading? Huh, i doubt. Maybe he's just doing that to post in his instagram so people would be like <em>oh, he is perfec</em>t! What a faker."</p>
<p>"Did you saw the new selca he posted? Ugh, I doubt a company would get him."</p>
<p>And many, many more. This is the typical scenario that he was practically used to. He nibbles the sandwich, taking small bites. It clearly was affecting him but then positivity! He'll get there soon. A hand suddenly wrapped on his neck, a brunette laughing at him. The guy tried to grab his soda but he was quick to put them away as he stuck his tongue out at him.</p>
<p>Taehyung pulled the metal chair, in a screech that can literally make someone's ears bleed, before flopping at it and groaning afterwards because it was indeed metal. He sat across the boy, waiting for Jimin to open up a topic for todays Ted talk. He crossed his arms over his chest, his feet slowly tapping in a somewhat impatient manner. It was a different curiousness, and a whole new scenario to find his friend sticking his nose up to a book all day. It was so unlikely, but thats his thing. Jimin kept his focus on the book, ignoring the brunette who was practically doing everything just to be noticed.</p>
<p>Taehyung huffed, looking so done, he grabbed the book out of Jimin's hand.</p>
<p>"Give that back Tae! You son of a—</p>
<p>Taehyung flipped through the pages, he doesnt really know why his friend put up with this, it looks rather boring in his opinion. The Jimin he knew wouldnt stay with a dusty, old book. But the thing about Jimin that he knew is he wont be putting up with a book without <em>motive. </em>He went through the first page, a name catching his attention. He turned to Jimin again, a knowing grin flash across his face.</p>
<p>Taehyung cleared his throat, "Someone is hitting off a guy and he did not even bother to tell me! Who is this Jeon Jungkook?"</p>
<p>Jimin grabbed the book again, rolling his eyes "He is not a fling Tae. I dont get why you always mistook any guy who gets close to me as a fling."</p>
<p>The guy chuckled, "Because they are..? Oh c'mon Chim, dont play the innocent card on me."</p>
<p>Jimin giggled, well he is somewhat right. He'll admit that he dated a lot of dudes. But the thing is, no one made him this <em>interested.</em> He could be all over them in just a moment, but not to the extent that he's going to trail along their words! Okay, he's a bit creepy in that part.</p>
<p>"Since you're a secretive bish i wont meddle with your thang anymore." Taehyung chuckled.</p>
<p>Jimin smiles, the thing he likes about Tae is he knows where and when to step in. He's not forcing him to spill the tea, well he's really his soulmate. They fight for the smallest and the stupidest of things, but he's very trustworthy about almost everything. Sometimes, he envies Tae, he got a rather perfect life. But Jimin swore to his grave that he would do everything just to protect Tae, and his little secret. <em>their secret.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>His liking for the same gender too</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p>
<p>Jimin can see clearly. He can see those little quotes littering over twitter, some are even posted on billboards, some printed over t-shirts and mugs. It always says the exact same message of <em>being yourself </em>and <em>show your true colours</em> playing along those lines. And he wishes it would all be the same for every situation. Its the thing that keeps him and Tae alike, this bottles they fill their selves into. These moulds they have to grow in. Because if its the easiest to go around like you, then why is this pain ever existing at all.</p>
<p>He knows its not a bad thing to like the same gender but. He just wishes he doesnt feel this way. He just wants to be like everyone else, that kind of smooth life. The life without secret escapades just to date at an amusement park or meeting at dimly lit streets. He just wishes to experience that kind of love that wasnt ever hopeless or denied. Or just something that wasnt against all odds.</p>
<p>Instead of praying for his parent's acceptance, he just wishes that he wont mess things up and discover his <em>secret</em>. </p>
<p>"Jimin you're messing it up again."</p>
<p>Hobi sighed for the third time. The blonde was taken aback, finally escaping the thoughts running through his head, He can see that his Dance Coach and well friend (he's not sure after this.) Is disappointed with his movements. The music stops leaving the room in a silence of disappointment and worry. Jimin stood frozen, looking at the ground, keeping his hands right behind his body. He cant find the right words to say and chose to stay in the <em>red light </em>position. Its hard to get in his friends way now.</p>
<p>"Jimin honey, you know that things in this academy needs to be one hundred percent fool proof. This is your dream Chim, and i dont want to see you losing your only chance!"</p>
<p>The blonde nodded, out of words to say, out of reasons or even explanations. He just needs this silence, he needs this shame.</p>
<p>Because this is Jimin's dream. And dreams are meant to break you, hurt you or even kill. And for him, its all about performing in the biggest stadiums and driving along billboards where his hardwork is painted through branding. He loves the lime light. There's a sense of attention, acceptance and approval to it that makes every broken ankles, every beauty standard he attain worthy.</p>
<p>To be adored, to just be adored, is all he could ever ask for.</p>
<p>--</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b>WHERE THE GAYS AT↓</b>
  </p>
</div><p><br/><b>HOBI</b><br/>@Jimin can you send me your <br/>School ID?</p>
<p><b>HOBI</b><br/>@Jimin</p>
<p><b>HOBI</b> <br/>@Jimin where tf are you bish</p>
<p><b>TAEHYUNG</b><br/>Maybe he's reading.</p>
<p><b>HOBI</b><br/>damn that bish knew how <br/>to read??? LMAO</p>
<p><b>TAEHYUNG</b><br/>aliens do exist hobi-hyung.</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p><b>JIMIN</b><br/>YALL ARE SO JUDGEMENTAL</p>
</div><p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p><b>JIMIN</b><br/>sorry hyung!<br/>Got too coped up<br/>with this book, i'll send em right away. </p>
</div><p><br/><b>TAEHYUNG</b><br/>Chim you are coped up with the junglebook dude not the book-</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p><b>JIMIN</b><br/>oh stfu</p>
</div><p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>--</p>
</div><p><br/>The blonde suppressed a muffled laugh as he digged his face in the crease of his loving pillow. He and Hobi made up after though, with the help of the burger place downtown that his hyung just cant seem to resist. He rolled over his pillows, regretting it afterwards when his swelling foot got tangled on the cushions. It was indeed a long day.</p>
<p>Laying down to his side, his back is completely attached to the bed and getting up feels like hard work. He looked over the sky visible on his window, just a plain pitch black painted. he's never really fond of the night. It was a time of peace, and overthinking.  one restless soul cannot really cope with it. Sometimes its just dreams keeping him awake.</p>
<p>He carefully glided his hands down the creases to the spine of the book, up to the tanning sides.He just had the habit of memorizing details, and he doesnt really want to read right now. It would be nice to read again, in a totally good mood. But not now, not this time. Not when there's no sunrise to chase.</p>
<p>He looked back to the night sky that seemed unmoving, Maybe, just maybe these nights formed the very edge of Jungkook's poetries. With that, he can understand why. The dim lights is not really helping in this knots tying their selves on his stomach. Overthinking is not really good. A swirl of <em>maybe's</em><em> and what </em><em>if's</em> are burying him right in this bed.</p>
<p>What if, these dreams that he dedicated his youth for, will go down to waste? What if his parents discovers his identity?</p>
<p>The blinding light from his desktop seemed to fade with the lack of movement, sighing he rushed to its side, just staring at the screen, out of words to say for his reflection paper, he was utterly speechless by the book itself. Taking a deep breath he tapped the screen to lit it up again, grabbing the book and opening it up to the first page.</p>
<p>His <em>email</em>. Jeon Jungkook's freaking email is written right over the first page. One thing he ignored at first. Jimin almost leaped at the thought, flushing. <em>It wouldnt hurt to try right? I mean coming from a different approach? A whole new perspective. But maybe i would be too disturbing.</em> He silently mumble in his thoughts.</p>
<p>But then again, it wouldnt harm to try.</p>
<p>With all the courage and confidence he gathered up, he fumbles through his email, that he only uses for logging in. He never connects with people especially when there's apps that are much more convenient.</p>
<p>Ignoring the blank subject, he doesnt really know what to put in there even with the choices Hi or hello. How do people got great subject lines anyways.</p>
<p>Proceeding to the tough battle ahead of him, he started to play along the keyboard.</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Well hello Mr, Jeon Jungkook tell me something i dont know. </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am going to repost this and this time, will be a little more active. Lmao.</p>
<p>I would love to hear from you! </p>
<p>Twitter: @JAMLESSZI</p>
<p>Wattpad: @JAMLESSZI</p></blockquote></div></div>
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